Friday, 26 July 2013

Mommy Fears

I have the pregnancy companion App on my iPhone. Every day I open it up to see how many weeks and days I am along, and more importantly, how many days are left on this wonderful journey.

Yesterday it dropped below 90 days. I am not sure why that seems so monumental. Maybe because we seem to have come from 9 months to 90 days so quickly. Maybe because as more and more people notice I am pregnant they feel compelled to share their horrific birth stories with me (3 this week in case you were curious).

I am sure my fears aren't uncommon but they are becoming more and more obtrusive every day. I worry about his health. I worry about my abilities as a mother. I worry about finding balance as new parents. I would be lying if I said I wasn't worried about my postpartum body. Something that has led me to conduct extensive research on belly bandits and postpartum body shapers.  Is that normal? Or just horribly vain.

I fear that I haven't done enough during pregnancy. Like what will happen if I missed too many prenatal vitamins. Should I be taking fish oils? The list goes on and on.

I am sure this is common. It is right? The only thing I can think of is those taper weeks leading up to a marathon when you feel like you haven't trained enough, haven't eaten well, will hit the wall.  While not the same, there are commonalities in this preparation that make me feel somewhat calm.  I joke with my friends that I know I can run for at least 4 hours so I should be good until then. Sadly Jay's friend's wife told me she thought the same thing and it did not compare AT ALL.

I guess I am just sharing this in the hopes that it makes someone else feel a little more normal about being terrified.

Terrified yet so incredibly excited at the same time.

I think it is an ok place to be.

2 comments:

  1. Relax and give yourself a break. There is no manual for what you are about to go through and it is obviously life-changing. My youngest is now 11 and there is no greater joy than motherhood. Of course there are things I would've done definitely, but that's not what this is about. Enjoy every second!

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  2. Thank you! We are learning that everything we read was good advice but doesn't necessarily work for our little man. He is my best teacher : )

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