Post baby, yoga was one of the first forms of movement my body was reunited with. Cat Cow pose and modified sun salutations after sleepless nights gave me a tiny sense of calm. At the six week mark, I headed back to Moksha with my mat. The closeness of the studio and the practicality of a 60 minute class made it an easy first step.
Oddly, as I set my intention for that first class, I felt a wave of anxiety rush through me. I took a moment to check in with my racing heartbeat and realised I was worried about Weston. This was my first venture out in a roomful of adults without him, and I felt his absence like only a new mother can. I told myself he was safe. He is with his dad and grandparents. You can relax. By mid class, the feelings had settled.
This past week we ventured out to our first mom and baby yoga class. This time as we set our intention I thought carefully. In the past, I usually focussed on things like not comparing myself to others, focusing on breath, staying in the moment etc. But in that class as I looked down at my baby rolling about on his little folded up bed of blankets I said to myself "I will be peaceful when he can't be".
I am carrying that intention with me this week on and off the mat.