Friday, 5 December 2014

December!

Wow. It has been ages since I have posted. We have been busy, very busy actually, with my return to work, some unexpected childcare problems, and a visit from my mom (related to the childcare issue).   W has changed so much in the past month it is incredible. Walking, saying words, playing his own games. I feel like I have so much to share from everything I have learned these past couple of months that I don't even know where to start!

I haven't been training for any races, but I haven't' completely stopped running. I commute home (although I was on crutches three weeks ago). I have thought about running longer runs on weekends, but I don't want to miss even an hour of the very little time I have with W.  And running after bedtime (7:15) means it is dark and cold and I have never been much of a lone runner. This sounds like a lot of excuses right? I don't really know what to say except my heart isn't in it right now. After months of physio, injuries and strange new pain, and realizing I ran too soon for my body, it feels good to take a break. My plan once we have a routine down, is to just continue with the 6k run home most days a week and see if the training bug bites me.

I must say, I have a new appreciation for working moms. I changed my hours to 7:30-4:00 so I leave every morning at 7:00 (sometimes W isn't even up yet). At 4:00 I run as fast as I can to daycare so we have more time together. By the time we have snowsuits, hats and mittens on and walk home it is close to 5:00. We eat peanut butter, snuggle, play timber, dance, eat dinner, splish splash in the bath, read, snuggle some more and already it is bedtime.

The transition to 2.5 hrs a day with your baby is hard. Harder than I expected. So hard that I spend a good portion of my free time dreaming of ways I could work less and be with him more. I keep thinking to myself, this is just change. It will be hard for a while but then it will be the new normal. It's funny how just when you get the hang of parenting (or think you do) you get thrown a new curveball.

In sum, this is where I am right now. This hazy place of figuring out who I am as a mom, a wife, a runner, a colleague, a sister, a daughter and friend.

2 comments:

  1. I'm sorry to hear that you've had childcare issues but I'm glad to hear that your mom was able to come and help out. Grandma time is priceless!

    Going back to work is a crazy time for sure. I don't know if you ever totally figure it out but it does seem to get more manageable. Although if I'm honest I still go to bed most nights thinking I'm going to do this better tomorrow. . . Most days are a blur but I do my best to soak up every moment I can with our crazy, funny, stubborn, sweet little man and hope that the rest will sort itself out eventually.

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    1. Thank you!! I totally empathize with the thought that tomorrow will be better. I am still so unorganized (I lost my keys two weeks ago!). I rarely pack a good lunch and twice have forgot a sports bra to run home in lol.

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